~Exposing to the pain of being hurt, Deeply hurt by someone whom I placed trust upon~

Who understands the Pain I am enduring through?? None of You I would say. Yes. Its N O N E!!

Being the First to know, it hurts. But being the Last to know, it hurts More. Much Much More.
It seems I am Stupid. I have no feelings, felt no Pain, does not hurt, is that what You all suppose I will? I am?
And not told by the bearer who brought me Pain. But by whom I Love. So much. Could anyone imagine how? One's your best pal, one's your lover. Judge it yourself.
Still thanks to her. Or I would still be left wondering. So irresponsible of You.

And I really Hate people makes me decide. Because I really HATE deciding.
Choosing between two most important person, one being a friend and a sister, another a friend and a lover. I am greedy. Why cant I choose both? I am given No options, No choice.
You want end this, You wan tell me that the decision I made is perfectly wrong, is it?
You can maintain and be back friends with all Your ex(s). Why cant u do it for me?
I am really curious to know how much feelings, how much efforts, care and Love you put in our friendship? So little that You can end it so Easily? Is it everything that we did together, I put in so did You, what we share, happiness and pain. Is it all A LIE??
I HATE You for the pain Uve brought me. You carved a Scar in my life. And I Hate You!

Humans are greedy. Yes I hesitatingly agreed.
They always have this mindset of 'how much they sacrificed is how much they should get in return'. Even me, I admit, I do.
But I will still say its Childish. This is a reality world. Materialized. Globalized. That theory certainly doesn't work here.
You just have to Admit, Accept, Live by it.
If You think its unfair, then how bout me? The pain Ive endured through my family since i was small. Was it fair to me then?? I am born to it. I cant change any. You think I want it? But can I choose? No!
Yet, I dint make a big deal out of it. Although I shedded tears and complaint. I lived with it. Because I believed everything happens for a reason. God's purpose. His plan.

I know You sacrificed lots. I saw. But You think I didn't? My sacrifices, You wont be able to see. I once because to hold on to our friendship, I let go. Of her. You knew that? No You dint!
Only some hardly knew. Because I seek them for their opinion.

And I did things I never done before. For her.
You know why always I escaped when I saw You with her? One, because I was hurt to see. Really hurt. But I told myself to be patient. I hold back. It was hard. You knew it. Two, because I wanted to create opportunity for both of You.
But then, You got to her, did You care bout me? Your attention was always left to her. I was alone. Did You noticed? I always hide myself, library, went back campus early. Sit faraway from both of You. Did You care bout my feelings back then? I was so dissapointed.
With Kl, it was like that. With Marcus, still like that. With Mun also. Now with her, lagi no need say. You always dumped me at the side. And one of why I developed slight depression in foundation. All thanks to You.

My first birthday wish. I wished it was not from her. I wished it was from You.
But You really dissapointed me.

The tears. That I cried for You. You wont be able to replace it back. Because it was too much. Too deep.
I regretted for not heeding Marcus, Albert and Kuang fu's advice for letting go of You when I faced relationship probs with You. For back then I wont suffer that much as I do now.

Still here, I sincerely thank you. For the joy. For the pain. For every single thing You have did for me. I would not forget You. I will still treat You as my friend. Although You don't. Because I realized something that You didn't. God answered my prayers. I have that thing. You don't. Maybe You will understand the reason behind it. Not now. You will discover it slowly.

I too, wish You all the best here.
Goodbye, my Friend.

Regards.